I just found out that 2018 is the year of the bird. I can't tell you how happy that makes me. I have an excuse to leave (or pause) landscapes and give something with actual structure some attention. I've been fearing this step. Not because I don't want to do it, but because I'm so afraid I'll do it badly.
I am still tied up in details with landscapes. It's getting better, and I'm able to loosen up to some degree, but there's all that stuff about "things" having details. What to leave, what to keep...it's terrible!
My heart has always been in nature. I love painting the landscape. It has been where I focus in my photography. When it came to drawing though, I've seemed to lean toward the birds, the bugs and the flowers. (I've recently fallen in love with drawing trees as well, that might stick around.)
I am, by nurture, or by nature, I'm not entirely sure, a perfectionist. I like things tidy. I like them to be as they should. I like to understand things and then I like them to be predictable. (I don't necessarily mean this in a life sort of way...but in a living sort of way. I love it when the universe sends you flurries of butterflies or a full moon with silvery clouds on a warm autumn night. But in living...in my line of vision...I like things tidy. (You'd laugh if you saw my workspace right now, but we won't talk about that.)
I would love to be loose and free like so many painters. I love the work of Pollack, but I don't think I could live with it in my space. It's too much chaos for my eyes. (Is that totally weird?) The same with frenetic music, it just scrambles my brain. (I was one of those punk rock girls in the 80's. Crazy and loud was my life. I can't believe how much age has changed me.)
The point to all this is just one thing. Things look like things, and I want my paintings to look like the things they're supposed to. That's all.
Anne Lamott wrote a wonderful book called Bird by Bird. It is full of beautiful wisdom that I return to again and again. One quote that I've added to my board behind my easel is this:
“The problem is acceptance, which is something we're taught not to do. We're taught to improve uncomfortable situations, to change things, alleviate unpleasant feelings. But if you accept the reality that you have been given- that you are not in a productive creative period- you free yourself to begin filling up again.”
I'm going to try and remember this as I move through this year of learning. Accepting all of it. The messiness. Both real and imagined. Both externally and internally. The whole shebang.
Today's little piece, still in progress. I began this post, then began the work.
Learn how to make the world more bird friendly at the Audubon Society. Click here to visit.
Have a wonderful day...sending big love.
