It’s been a very long time. I have seven drafts sitting here for the blog, waiting to see the world. I just never felt like sending them out.
It’s fitting that covid and my 55th year happened to coincide. I had planned this year to be a time of reflection and reacquainting of the things that matter in my life. I had spent the entire year of 2019 and actually much of 2018 putting together products for my Disney project. I had a blast doing it, and the people I was meeting along the way were just wonderful. My last post was the launch of that project. It was soon after that I found that the products weren’t dependable and that it was hit or miss on quality. That made me crazy. I don’t put my name on things I wouldn’t use myself. So, I scrambled to find new suppliers, and even considered keeping my own inventory because people were always so kind in addressing the issues, I wanted to make sure it didn’t happen again. So the plan became to shut down after the holidays and make a new game plan. Then, in the vein of everything happens for a reason, the world changed and I couldn’t find suppliers at all. So I shut down.
2020 taught me so much. It taught me the huge kindness of people as well as showing me sides of, not only myself, but of people I loved dearly, that I had not known existed. It was an unmasking of the world for me. I sat and watched for a very long time. I learned who I could trust and who to wish well and to let go. I worked on me, because as I have been saying for so long, being the change is the only change we can be sure of. And, let me be clear, the theory was much easier than the practice.
So I let the world go and did the work.
I have reinvented many things in my life. The most recent is my health. I eat so clean now we squeak. I added to the exercise room and am working on shedding the layers acquired through covid and are clearing our minds of the darkness that came with it. (I even make my own vegan protein powders with organic things I’ve milled myself. I would have rolled my eyes at this kind of stuff only a year ago, but now I really get it!)
But the biggest shift has been, to the best of my ability, letting go of judgement. Letting the world be who it needs to be regardless of my thoughts on how it should be. There have been and still are some painful lessons in that. People I thought would be in my life forever have slipped away, and in doing so, I realized how I had relied on them, and how conversely, they had relied on me. The latter usually had been in ways that weren’t really great for me. I had to dig deep to have faith in my self and my abilities.
So, as the saying goes, I will love them anyway, and be happy moving forward. I have met such lovely people through this year, and learned to appreciate not only my family, but people I had not given nearly enough attention to. It’s amazing what happens when we step out of routine. So for me, my 55th year and the events through covid have been filled with gifts I never expected. I hope it has been the same for you.
I am going to try to step back into what’s left of the normal for me. I may start selling again, but in whole new ways. I will be offering much, much more original work. (I’m so excited to show you all what I’ve been working on!) I won’t be back on twitter. I may never go back to Facebook. I’ll probably keep in touch on Instagram. But I’m going to be authentic, because I’m tired of letting myself down. So what comes next will be your measure if you want to hang around or if you’d rather go. Either way, I hope your path into this strange new world is an amazing one.
Wishing you all so much love!
xo
